10. No time off for Hanukkah
9. Dumb people think I’m Kenny Rogers
8. Whenever triplets show up, I have to snap on a third knee
7. January through November
6. One year, Macy’s tried to pay me in cologne
5. Restless Beard Syndrome
4. Parents, you’re in line for 40 minutes – maybe you have time to learn how to operate your cameras
3. Lap Rash
2. Pretending to be jolly gets old pretty fast
1. How come no one ever asks what I want for Christmas
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